I remember that when I was a child, my father asked me one time if I was responsible for something that had just “happened to me”. I won’t tell you what is was….
At the time I was furious, defensive, and annoyed with his question. I did not want to face the real truth.
After all I thought, the event was just “one of those moments”. It was not my fault. I was playing a “Blame Game”.
Looking back now I realise that at the time I was playing a “Victim” to the situation.
Being in that “Victim” space is not a good position to be in.
Instead of taking the responsibility for ourselves it seems a good idea at the time was to blame someone or something else. That way we don’t feel so bad about it. In other words, we’re passing our responsibilities to someone or something else. And we’re no longer in control of our problem.
I am sure you understand what I mean, we all do it, is this sound familiar?
So let’s look at Cause & Effect…
Which one are you?
Are you the Cause or are you the Effect?
In our day to day lives we have a choice to be the “CAUSE” of events. Or we can merely react to the “EFFECT” of events.
Which would you rather?
Being at Cause means we are actively creating events.
Being in Effect, means things just happen to us and sometimes it means us playing the victim, “the poor me” that I chose to play that time when I was a child talking with my father. I wanted people around me to feel sorry for me.
But here’s the thing… Playing a victim will never move you forward to where you intended to be. It will set you back as you let everything around you consumed you and eat you up.
Choosing to be at Cause is an active choice. It really is a decision and an action. You take full responsibility for your destiny. It can give you more choices and opportunities as you will explore different options to improve or change your situation right now. In other words, it has the effect of actively empowering us to create our lives in each moment.
As a Business Lifestyle coach, we see some clients stuck in the Effect side. They’ve been there for a long time. It’s a comfortable, familiar place to be for some. Being in the Effect is easy, you don’t have to take action, just blame your circumstance on the other things around you. It’s never YOU.
Being in effect means we often feel like we are disempowered by our life’s events. Not in control.
Now we’re not suggesting blind optimism. Not every one starts in the same place, and there’s real and systemic disadvantage in the world. All the “secrets” and “affirmations” and “visualisations” will not move someone out of poverty. Nor are we saying there aren’t genuine victims in the world. We’re discussing victimhood, and cause & effect in the context of your Business LifeStyle.
We’re talking about practical and honest assessments of our current situations, and real action towards making lasting change.
So, how exactly can you go from being in effect to being at Cause?
Make a conscious decision to be aware of whether you’re in Cause or Effect
Handling all situations as if you create everything in your life is a great starting point.
So if something not so positive is coming your way, ask yourself this question; “If I really did create this, what could the ‘bigger purpose’ be?” As tempting as it may be, your head chat will say to you, “Impossible, there’s nothing ‘bigger’ or positive about this event..”
Reframe your thoughts and look again. Then ask the next question: “OK, I know that I can’t see it directly, but if I could, and if there was something to be learned from this, what would it be?”
Sometimes, we need to step out from our situation and be an “Observer” looking in at the situation from a third person perspective. Then you will set the situation in a different perspective and you could realise that what you may need is to change from being the victim to being in control and take positive action.
These questions are a great starting point to get you focused in the right direction (consciously and unconsciously), setting you up for finding new answers or finding alternative solutions.
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